In and around the city of Palm Springs there are numerous breathtaking hikes. A recent favourite area of mine is called Indian Canyons – the sacred land of the Agua Caliente band of Cahuilla Indians. On one of the hikes, a friend and I inadvertently added three miles to our planned 6 mile hike. The reservation has a strict rule about everyone leaving by 5pm, otherwise your vehicle will be towed. It was nearly 4pm and we had about 2.5 miles left in order to return to our vehicle before the deadline. When I felt a swell of anxiety rising and said to my friend: “What if we don’t get back in time?” Her response: “I’m sure we have some leeway. It will take a tow truck at least 10 minutes to get to the the parking lot, so we’re probably good until 5:15 or so.” Despite her reassuring words, I wasn’t appeased. I felt the intensity of the anxiousness in my gut. It was about a 5 out of 10, with 10 being the worst. Not super strong, but strong enough to pull me out of the present moment. Instead, as I continued hiking I felt tension within me, not noticing my surroundings. It was as if there was a thin veil separating me from contacting the ground or feeling the air on my skin. It energetically was wrapped around me so that all of my senses were dulled. I could still see, smell, hear and feel, but a layer was now between me and my experience. I noticed I sped up my pace and although I didn’t want to, I was on autopilot. The distance between my friend and I grew but she was unfazed.
I realized the anxiousness wasn’t serving me or my higher self, so I decided to consciously bring compassion to this anxious energy inside. I said to myself: “I love you anxiety. It’s no big deal – if the truck is towed, we get a ride to town and pay for towing fee. No one is hurt, no one is dying.” I still didn’t feel reassured – but I tried.
I noticed a sense of disappointment in myself for being anxious. “Here you go again. Why can’t you be more calm and easy going?” This was a very familiar loop for me. I breathed deeply, looked out at the beautiful desert around me and told myself “I love you Alexia. Be here”. I felt a whopping two percent better.
Suddenly I felt something sticking to the bottom of my hiking boot. I had to stop to check what it was only to discover the sole was peeling off. I laughed out loud and showed my friend, who chuckled. The entire sole had to be taken off in order for me to continue hiking without tripping. Fortunately, I was able to carry on without discomfort, just a little less tread. It forced me to focus on where I was stepping instead of worrying about the time.
We made it back to our rented vehicle at 4:48pm. The ranger was sitting in his truck waiting for us. We waved in acknowledgment as he courteously escorted us out of the grounds, driving a comfortable distance behind.
On the drive back to where we were staying, I bought some Gorilla Glue, cleaned up my boot and glued my sole back on. Despite looking a little messy at the edges, my boot was as good as new – maybe even a little stronger.
A day or two later it hit me. My sole malfunction was in fact perfectly timed! There was a deeper lesson here. My peeling sole made me stop, slow down and focus on what was right in front of me – the land. It removed the veil of separation and guided me back to the present moment – to Oneness. Just as in Rumi’s poem The Guest House – this was a reminder that every part of me is needed in healing my own soul. The anxiety, the disappointment or whatever comes is a guide from beyond. At the end of the day -my soul may be a bit messybut it’s more resilient than ever.